and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
