They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
