Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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