What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
