you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
