life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
