I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
