she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
