I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
