so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
