Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Come see our sink grown plant.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
