The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
