Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
