I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
