foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
MIDGETS
????
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
