I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Randomize
