when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
