Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
