I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
What drink are we having for lunch?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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