My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
