I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
