So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
accomplished twins. life is a go
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
