apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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