is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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