i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
