I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
