all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
