don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
only you would photoshop your dick
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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