Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
