Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
