Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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