I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
