I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
