More tranny stories later!
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize