If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
It's Friday. Sex?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
