yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
