Already got asked if we're dating
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
