I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
