I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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