God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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