i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
