feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
