Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
