Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
