So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
