Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
