...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
