woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
