they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
