I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
