She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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